Friday, September 23, 2011

I Think I Would Have Prefered to be Stood Up Again

I met this awesome guy.

We texted and talked on the phone and really connected.

Went on a date with him two weeks ago.

Had a BLAST.

Didn't talk much the past two weeks, but set up a date for this week in Utah on Thursday.

Felt all week like he wasn't interested, but then thought maybe I was just being paranoid.
Confirmed Tuesday that we were still on for Thursday.

Thursday he texted me. I asked how his day was...

He said he felt like he was maybe starting to feel sick.

(DUM, DUM, DUUUUUUM. Enter horrible excuse stage left.)

I asked if he was feeling well enough to still do something, knowing the answer would change everything.

He said no, he thought he should stay home and rest.

That's when I knew. I mean, if you are totally smitten with someone, you don't "stay home and rest" because you feel like you MIGHT be STARTING to get sick.
So, I asked him point blank if he was interested in me, or if he just kind of wanted me to leave him alone.
His answer?

(Take a big hand, as demonstrated in image found above. Use it to give yourself a backhand across the face. Now you know how his answer felt. Now, I will tell you what he said.)
"I am only slightly interested in you...".
I kid you not. All "polite" and "gentlemanly" like that and everything. (That was sarcastic, by the way. He could have just said he wasn't interested, he didn't have to say "SLIGHTLY". RUDE!)

He said some more things that were really hurtful that meant he wasn't interested, and closed by saying we could be friends if I wanted.
I replied that I can take a hint.
He thanked me and I haven't heard from him since.

So, I pose two questions:
First, where are all the good guys? The ones with manners. (I mean, if he wasn't interested, why did he act interested on the first date? He could have been polite and had fun without flirting and making me think he liked me. Furthermore, if he didn't want to have a second date, why did he confirm only TWO DAYS before? He could have told me then he wasn't interested instead of waiting until I drove from Idaho to Utah?)

Second, (and this one you aren't going to want to answer, but I am asking you to, as dear blog-world friends, so PLLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSE do answer) (and I know it is going to hurt, but I am ready for it, so don't hold back!), what is wrong with me? And I don't mean that in some self depreciating way. And, of course, I wouldn't change my personality, or beliefs, or anything major, just for some guy. But really, honestly, maybe I am doing something "wrong" that I just do not realize I am doing, but that I could really easily change! Any suggestions or insights would be appreciated. (I promise I won't block you from my blog, or "unfriend" you on facebook.) AND, if I use your advice and get second date with a guy, I will give you some cool prize. Like, a tracing of my hand. Or a bouquet of dandelions. (Now, tell me that isn't incentive to really try and help a sister out?!)


Stephanie said...

Breclyn there is nothing wrong with you. I have tried the whole online thing one too many times. It works for some people but mostly it doesn't. It's hard not to take it personal I know. I don't know where all the good guys are. I have yet to find one :) Know that there is nothing wrong with you though! If he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you and you're better off without him. Hang in there though. It's hard I know but know that you're not alone.

B-Blogit said...

nothing is wrong with you. It is just the guys. They all seem to just be old lately. It is a society problem failing kids and boys in general. We removing expectations for all kids it seems and it is wrong i think.

Just keep seeking out and you will find a good one. There will be tough times like this on the way but when you find a special one it will be worth it!

Shannon Dooley said...

What a jerk! He should be ashamed of himself. I am so glad to have found one of the few good ones and not be in the dating game any longer. Your prince will come along. It's unfortunately true for most that you have to kiss (or at the very least flirt) with quite a few toads before you find the real deal. IDK what you are like when you are out on dates or talking over the phone but playing the hard to get card really is key - I hate to endorse game playing but it's true - if you are "too" available it takes the fun of the chase out of it and they move one. It goes back to primitive days; there really is a psychological need to chase. If you really think it's you (which I'm sure it's not but it might make you feel better) get some literature on the matter like "he's just not into you" and see if you can nail down what you are doing wrong. If nothing else, you'll get peace of mind that you are doing nothing wrong and it truly is this idiots loss. In the meantime, thanks for posting his picture on your blog. I am going to drive to Utah and throw eggs at his head.

Megan and Vinny said...

Brec- this is Vinny- Megan just read me your post and I am replying. Before I start I will just say that men are pigs. We are brute beasts with varying degrees of civility. Now my comment: Dating is like fishing- while it is possible to get really lucky I find that the best fishermen do their best to keep luck out of it. So first of all you have to accept that you are looking for a unique person and the more unique you want him the more crap you're going to have to go through to find him. 1 in a million may mean just that. The great fishermen only have the picture on the wall of the award winning fish because they have caught so many they increased their odds. They also go where the fish are. If you want tuna you can't fish in a pond. For example, if you want to find someone smart, mormon, and atheltic then the gym outside the BYU law school may increase your chances. Get it? The LDSSA at the U of U is also a great place. So make sure you are fishing where the fish live. Then make sure you have the correct bait. Without delving into that I assure you that you have it. Then you have to actually bring the bait (which is you) to them. Make contact. Ask for help. Go to a party, gathering, whatever. -Vinny

MommyBrec said...

Thank you ALL for your comments! I appreciate the encouragement, and also the advice! What I get from it all? Play tag, go fishing and leave the guys alone! HA HA! Just kidding. Love you guys!