GOOOOOOD NEEEEEEWS!
I am SO EXCITED I can't stand it!
Okay, okay...calm it down! This will NOT be exciting for ANY of you, so just stop getting excited now before you get your hopes up that something exciting is going to happen to YOU! I am not giving away millions of dollars, or inviting everyone to my mansion by the sea for a week-long party. Sorry, folks.
BUT... This is exciting for me, okay? So I want to share it. With someone. Anyone. (Anyone? Yeah, you have all stopped reading now. Now that you know there isn't money or a mansion. SIGH.)
So, what is exciting? (HOW I WISH I HAD PICTURES TO GO WITH THIS!)
After five painful years of Taiger's mystifying hair, I have finally figured out a basic haircare routine!
(Sorry! I know, it really is NOT all that exciting! Well, it IS for me...so humor me and smile.)
You guys, I cannot...CAN NOT!...even begin to tell you how ridiculously difficult it is to find haircare suggestions online, or to find people out and about to ask. It just ain't happenin'. You can go search a million blogs, and NO ONE will actually come right out and tell you what product, how to use it, how often to use it, etc. for your black child's hair. And don't bother asking at Sally. They look at you like, "Did you see the name of the shop? It is SALLY beauty supply...NOT LAKISHA beauty supply!" Yeah. They have NO idea what to do for those beautiful, curly locks that are getting more and more damaged even as I stand there debating between "Pure Olive Oil" and "Pink Hair Lotion". (They had pictures of black people on the front, okay? Don't blame me!).
Soooooo....I have searched online. I have asked hair supply stores. I have asked beauticians and hairdressers. I have asked poor unsuspecting white mothers of black kids in airport bathrooms (I kid you not!). All to no avail.
If you are in the same predicament with your black child's hair, here is some advice. GIVE UP! No, I am just kidding. :) There MUST be information out there SOMEWHERE. I just haven't found it. BUT...to hopefully start the trend of sharing how to care for black hair (and I mean more than, "use a good moisturizer"...yeah, THAT helps!) I am going to share here EXACTLY what I do with little T's hair!
*Ideally, I only wash T's hair a couple of times a week. HOWEVER...I have washed his hair TWICE in the last two days, simply because the weather is warm and he has been outside playing and it gets so dirty. Yesterday, he had sand in his hair from the park. Today, he had grass in his hair from playing in the yard after Grandpa mowed the lawn. So, I wash when it is dirty.
*I have used several different shampoos and conditioners. The one I use now is "BIOSILK" brand, the ones that say, "Hydrating Shampoo" and "Hydrating Conditionar". They are really good and I like them a lot, although I am still searching for something made specifically for African-American hair.
*I have learned SOO MUCH lately through experimentation about how to just wash his hair! We have had five years of crying (from him and from me!), and now I FINALLY have figured it out! Okay, so I have him lay back and get his hair wet in the bath. Then, I drizzle shampoo all over his hair and start to scrub with my fingers, getting his scalp nice and clean. The hair is ridiculously tangly at this point, but don't panic! Just try not to smash and scrub his hair all over the place! Just get deep in and get the scalp. Then, I run my fingers through his hair, GENTLY de-tangling as I go. (The first time you do this, your child will SCREAM! And he will scream every time after if you don't do the "before sleeping" routine I have FINALLY figured out! So, keep reading!) I work AROUND his head, so I am pulling the curls DOWN as I go (bangs down to eyes, back down the neck, etc.). I have a towel on my lap during this entire process for him to reach over and use to wipe water off his face and out of eyes. Just do it. Your life will be SO MUCH BETTER...and your clothes drier. Trust me.
*I rinse T's hair under the faucet (an act of faith by T, who is so scared of the water! We hold a towel over his face) to be sure and get ALL the shampoo out, as well as grass, sand, etc. (When he would lay back in the bath to rinse, the shampoo would cling to his hair, and all of the dirt, etc, would become re-trapped in his curls, so putting his head under the running water keeps that from happening.) This can also help keep the curls from getting tangled again.
*I used to leave the conditioner in after washing and conditioning, because I read on some blogs about leaving conditioner in hair...then I realized they meant a special kind of LEAVE IN conditioner. Anyway, so I stopped leaving conditioner in his hair, but this week I have started doing it again. I don't, however, use as much conditioner as I used to when I leave it in. Just so the hair feels lightly coated. I can't see it on his hair when he gets out of the bath.
*When he gets out of the bath, I have learned NOT to rub his hair to dry it! NOR do I wrap the towel around his hair while his head is upside down. BOTH of those lead to tangles. Instead, I wrap the towel around his hair and lightly squeeze the ends of his hair to squeeze the water out (and yes, it does remove some of the left in conditioner).
* Next, I melt down his coconut oil by putting the bottle in hot water. I have found Spectrum Pure Coconut Oil to be THE BEST! You can get it at the grocery store over by all the health food stuff (yuck! I know!). You know, where the gluten free things are, and the soy milk. If you can't find it there, you can check in Whole Foods or another health food store over by the cooking oils. Spectrum brand is my favourite because it is cheaper (yay!) AND it doesn't smell like coconut. (I know, you are tempted to buy the yummy smelling one! Don't cave! That yummy smell turns quite terrible after one sweaty day of playing in the sun!!) I rub that coconut oil ALL OVER HIS ENTIRE BODY! He is all slippery and shiny when he is done. :) I have to be sure and have jammies ready to put RIGHT ON so he doesn't sit anywhere or rub against anything and get coconut oil on anything!!
*Right before bed, I section out one quarter of his hair and clip the rest back with a HUGE hairdresser clip. (I was lucky to find some with rubber/foam on the bottom so they don't get tangled in his hair! Look for some for yourself. They are great!) The part left out, I spray the heck out of with warm water. (I wrap a towel around T before doing this, because he is SURE to get SOAKED during this part!) I then part that hair in half horizontally and spray in between to make sure the "inside" of the sectioned off hair is wet, too. I then put some coconut oil in my palm and start working it through his hair in the same direction I did the shampoo. Always down! I use my fingers to "rake" through the top of the section. (My fingers are shaped like a rake when I do it. I am not going deep in to the hair, just on the very top layer to get those tangles out and to start shaping the hair and training it DOWN.) Then, I re-part the hair horizontally and apply MORE coconut oil to the "underneath" part and spend a while detangling that part. I go deeper down in to the hair with my fingers and really work out the tangles here. Sometimes, I pour the coconut oil directly on to the hair at the root, and work it down through the hair. I spray my hands with water to keep my fingers moving smoothly through his hair without snagging or getting caught on tangles. I then lay the top layer of that quarter of hair back down, apply MORE coconut oil, and detangle that section with the bottom section, going deeper and really working out the tangles. When that quarter of hair is very smooth and very oily, I braid it, always keeping it close to the head and gently pulling it DOWN. Some nights, rather than putting braids in, I just wrap a FABRIC hair band LOOSELY around the quarter of hair. T likes the "pony tails" better and says they hurt less. I do this for all four quarters of hair. The ONLY thing I do differently is if I am doing PONY TAILS, I pull the pony tails up high and to the sides so it doesn't hurt when he lays down. If I do braids, I try and direct them more to the side as well, but still directing them DOWN.
*Once all of the hair is braided or tied off, I apply a bit more coconut oil to the scalp between the braids, since it is so clearly exposed. I also run some along the smoothed down hair, just to make sure everything is very well moisturized.
*In the morning, I take out the braids/pony tails and spray the hair again with lots of water. Then, I work through it, NOT to detangle, but to reshape (as the hair still tries to hold the quartered off shape with four crazy sections of hair sticking up in amazingly insane ways!). I pull the hair down again, but sort of "puff" up the top, so it doesn't look like he has a flying saucer around his head. :)
* I (try and) leave his hair alone during the day. At night, if he doesn't bathe, I still do his hair the same way, only without washing and conditioning.
So, that is his hair routine (MY SON HAS A HAIR ROUTINE! I AM SOOOO HAPPY!)! I hope if you are struggling with your little sweetie's hair, this will help you! (Sorry, no pictures! Someday I will have a digital camera again. :) )