I am a DING-BAT!

I am a very smart girl. I am majoring in CHINESE, for Pete's sake! I love to learn and feel I am quite clever.

But I am also a complete, well, ding-bat.

I burn pancakes. Really, I do. I cannot make pancakes.

I am CONSTANTLY and consistently overcooking macaroni. I ALWAYS over cook it! To the point that the other day, Taiger was heading out to play and before he went out he said, "Mom, don't forget you are making macaroni." It isn't DANGEROUS...I never leave it there so long it could burn or be a danger...just long enough the noodles get nice and mushy. EW!

A few weeks ago, I did something that took the cake! I got out of the shower and was blow drying my hair when I combed through it and WHITE stuff came off on the comb! I was really puzzled, but kept blow drying. Then, I realized the top was getting dry, but was still all shiny and heavy. DUH! I had forgotten to rinse out the conditioner! Oh boy, did my family think I was crazy.

Well, several days later, I got out of the shower and combed through my hair and guess what? SUDS came off on the comb. This time I wasn't puzzled, I was in disbelief. At MYSELF! I had COMPLETELY forgotten to rinse the SHAMPOO out of my hair! And as if that isn't bad enough, I DID condition it after that, and had thus obviously failed to rinse the conditioner, too. OH BROTHER! My family had a GOOOOD laugh at that one.

Well, yesterday I was thinking, "Okay, I want to wear my Capri's, so I need to shave my legs." (Too much information? Get over it.) While in the shower I was thinking, "I need to shave my legs." Then, I thought to myself, "Nah, they are okay, and I don't really have time." I went back and forth a bit, then decided I did NOT have time and I should just get out of the shower. I went to my room and got dressed and was putting lotion on my legs and thought, "Huh! My legs are so smooth! I guess I really didn't need to stress about shaving them! I can't even TELL there is hair on them!" I went up and started blow drying my hair...and guess what? Greasy, heavy hair. yup. I had forgotten to rinse the conditioner AGAIN! By this time, I was running late to work and didn't have time to get back in the shower and rinse (as I had done the other times). So, I braided my disgusting hair (yuck!) and went to work.

Later at work, I was sitting at the desk and marveled again at how smooth my legs were. "I should worry less about shaving from now on! I can easily go a few days between shaves and still wear capris or skirts!" I was busy, so the thought left my mind.

That night, I had more time to think of my hairless legs. (I promise, I don't usually spend THIS MuCH TIME during a day thinking about my legs! This just shows how perplexed I was! Hairless legs! Who knew?!) And then it hit me. It was like a "flashback" scene from a "B" movie. Lights flashing, camera tilting slowly side to side, spinning vortex around my head...and I had this picture (flashes into black and white) of me SHAVING MY LEGS in the shower that morning! WHAT?!

So, I shaved my legs and didn't rinse the conditioner.

OH. MY. GOSH. Can I be any more of a DINGALING?!