The Sun

I used to hate the sun.

I know that seems strange, but really! I did! When I was young, I would close the curtains to my room and keep it as dark as possible...my sanctuary from that sunshine I so loathed.

If I woke up in the morning to a sunny day, it put me in a bad mood.

I sunburned very easily, and that added to my hatred of the sun. It did nothing for me. It gave me nothing good. I hated the sun. Even as a child. (And yes, I admit that is a little strange.)

I LOVED rainy days or snowy days. Or even just overcast days.

As I got older, my tolerance for the sun did not improve, in fact, it worsened (I know that seems impossible!). I didn't even like going outside any more and would spend as much time as possible in the house. I would work out at the gym rather than take a walk. When my son wanted to play outside, I would convince him we should just play inside. I really, really hated the sun and any sunshine.

In the last year, for some inexplicable reason, that all changed.

When we lived in China, we were outside most of the day. The hallways in our schools were not "indoors", so even walking from one room to the next in the school forced me to face the very present sun. Our form on transportation at first was a bicycle and later a motorbike, so we were outside in rain or shine, not inside a comfortable car, hiding from the sun. The sun and shunshine became part of my life. At first, I hated my new living situation, being in the sun CONSTANTLY! I endured it, at best.

I became friends with another foreign student while in China. She was from Latvia and was used to long winters with little sunlight. She lived on the top floor of a five story building, and often I would find her standing outside her door with her face to the sun, a relaxed smile just on the corners of her mouth. I thought she was crazy. She always talked about "sun bathing" her face, or her legs or arms. Miss Latvia was one of the happiest, most at-peace people I know. She was always calm and calming. I loved her dearly, and I loved how she seemed at peace with EVERYTHING. Miss Latvia did yoga, and I thought most of her peace came from that.

Although it rained and stormed on our island, it was sunny most often, and even on cloudy days, the sunlight seemed to be brighter. I was beginning to hate the sun less and less. Not that I "liked" it! Just that I didn't HATE it.

When misfortune forced us to leave China, I handled the drama and trauma with more calmness and peace than I would have thought I would.

When I arrived in Idaho, it was the middle of the long, cold winter.

I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I missed the sun.

This summer, I embraced the sun like I never have before. I went for walks outside. I sat at Yellowstone, on a bench IN THE SUN, ON PURPOSE and let the warmth soak in to me and fill me up. I threw an OUTDOOR WATER PARTY for Taiger this summer. AND...I even took up sungazing.

I wouldn't say I adore the sun, but I like it now. I can say that. I like the sun.

Yesterday was raining and cold. And do you know what? I MISSED the sun! I really, really did. I wanted to stand in it's light and feel the warmth and just let the vitamins from the sun soak into my skin.

Well, today it started snowing.

Good bye, sun.

Good bye, sunshine.