Monday, October 20, 2008

My Amazing Dream

So, I had this amazing dream last night. I can't really share it with anyone. I wanted to post it in my Luckyhill support yahoo! group, but then i felt really awkward, because the thing that happened in my dream is what people in the group are living right now! They are living my dream. And for me to post this experience as a dream is kind of ridiculous...they would all be thinking, "Yeah, so? That isn't a cool dream! That is how my life IS!" So, I typed the entire post, but instead of hitting "publish" I highlighted the entire text and cut it. Now, I will post it here. Here in my secret world, where I can just be myself. This is the post:

Okay, I had this CRAZY dream last night, and it has been weighing on my mind, so I HAVE to share it. Sorry if this is dreadful for anyone reading! It IS kind of topic-appropriate though...kind of....
So, I dreamed I had a friend who wanted to adopt from Luckyhill. (By the way, this is not a real life friend, she just showed up in this dream...) Anyway, Lois called and said she had a referral for me. A newborn girl had arrived at Luckyhill. I remember thinking how amazing that was, since Luckyhill doesn't usually have newborns. I thought she meant maybe this baby should be adopted by my friend, so I told this friend about the baby. My friend looked at me funny and said they would consider it, but that they really were wanting a boy. (I remember thinking, "WHO CARES what gender it is?! This could be YOUR CHILD!" But I didn't say that...instead I felt dumb for not remembering they wanted a boy.) I called Lois to tell her my friend was not interested in the baby and she acted puzzled and said, "No, I meant the referral was for YOU! THIS is supposed to be YOUR baby!" I was in shock when she told me! Then, I started crying. I just felt so warm all over knowing I had a baby girl waiting for me! The bad part of the dream came when I realized I could not go right that second and get my baby, and I began worrying about how long it would take for me to be able to go get her and bring her home with my son and me. That is when I woke up...I guess because there was too much to worry about.
I kind of feel foolish for sharing this because so many of you are going through that in real life...you have had that amazing experience of finding YOUR child. Anyway, I think our dreams speak to us...either putting into images what is in the recesses of our minds, or speaking to us of things that may yet take place. Anyway, I just felt like I had to tell this dream, but had no one with whom to share it, so you all got to be bored by it! Sorry!

And that was the post and that was my dream. Maybe someday I will have that experience and I will live that glorious moment, where all my searching for my second child ends, and I will know she is mine to go enfold in my arms and bring home to our little family.

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