I just wanted to post this thought. Feel free to comment your opinion:Sometimes, I call Taiger "chocolate", but often get strange looks from people...looks that scream, "Is that politically correct?!" All I can think is that he is not a politic, he is my son, and to me he is sweet as chocolate, and as dark!
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5 comments:
if i have a white baby i will probably still call him/her chocolate because babies and chocolate are both yummy!
megan
here are few more of my thoughts. now, keep in mind that i am not a mom (yet) and not a mom of a bi-racial baby (yet).
however, sometimes we can become too politically correct.
i know a white woman who, after going on vacation and coming home all tan, insists that everyone call her "brown sugar." it think this is really cute. she's not trying to be black, she's just proud of her creamy darker skin.
i read an article in people magazine. the supermodel heidi klum (who is white) and her husband seal (who is black) have a bunch of kids together. heidi also has a daughter from another relationship with a white man. she said that race hasn't yet come up as an issue because the kids still aren't in school.
but she said that recently her daughter drew a picture of the family and heidi and her daughter were the same light color. her daughter had used her darkest color for her (adoptive black) dad, a lighter brown one for her one brother and an even lighter brown one for her other brother.
i think it's ok to notice the difference, because we are all different. some of us are dark, some are light, some are tall, some short, some skinny, some fat. children have an innate ability to notice the differences and just see right on through them - because, really, what's the difference?
my cousin's little girl named whitney rose told me once that i felt "squishier" than her mom did. it made me laugh. i am much fatter than her very lean mom. and she didn't mean it to hurt my feelings, just something she noticed that felt different to her.
so, you go on calling taiger your chocolate boy - because he is chocolate - full of sugar and yumminess. and, yes, he is a little bit darker than some white people. and isn't that wonderful?!
let's celebrate our differences and bring them all together to our giant melting pot and just create a wonderful rainbow of a world.
i love and adore you and i know that you are a wonderful, loving, joyous mother!
megan
(sorry this was so long...)
Megsie,
Thank you for the comment! I LOVE what you had to say! I agree...it shouldn't matter what we are all like. Isn't it great that we are all so different?! :D
I think you know my opinion on the whole thing...
http://fullplatemama.blogspot.com/2009/06/laughter-lives-tuesdaya-chocolate.html
My kids refer to themselves as "chocolate" or "brown" because hearing them say they were "black" made me shudder at the racial implications of the word. And, toddlers/preschoolers are VERY literal. So, to my children, they aren't black, they are literally brown. And, racially, they are African-American or Bi-racial (African-American/latina or African-American/Asian, depending on which of my kids you're talking about). But, that's only if I'm filling out one of those annoying forms with the check boxes. All the other times, they're just my kids.
There is a now famous book on children and their perception of race. It's called "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla". It's all about raising black and bi-racial children in a world that isn't color blind. It's become my bible for understanding developmental stages that kids go through to understand and develop healthy attitudes about their race.
As mom to four (soon to be five) little chocolate loves, my goal is to have my children be able to advocate for themselves when they need to. Do you know that the issue really has to do with your race? Then speak up. Otherwise, I would love to see them as grown ups whose attitude is "I'm African (or African-American, or Bi-racial), it's part of who I am, but not all of me". Just like I'm not Becky, the Caucasian, I don't want them to be pigeon holed into being "the black one" or "the adopted one". Like I said, a part of who they are, but not all of them. I think I'll get there by striking a balance between when you take it seriously and when you just let it go. Referring to themselves as chocolate just isn't that big of a deal to me. Someone else referring to them in any way that has negative implications, well, that would be a big deal. That's just my goal though. I think every parent makes their own goal for how they want their child to view and feel about themselves. So, it's up to the individual parent. I'm sure there are parents out there who would be LIVID that I let that kind of talk go on in my home. Whatever.
You're obviously doing a great job with Taiger. He looks like a very happy little man. For now, that's your only job, and you're doing it very well. So, my vote is, keep on keepin' on.
Good luck!
Becky
I think this is only fitting since his Mama is sweet as white chocolate!
Shannon
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